Star Wars Holiday Special and DEATH!

GAAH! FUCK! EVERYONE MUST DIE! JUST DIE! MAKE IT STOP! SHOOT EVERYTHING!

Storygnomes and Payne

Let me just get this one thing straight with all of you movie-producers who regularly read this blog:
If you take a game and make a movie out of it, and upon looking back at your work realize that you have managed to make the story and the characters worse than they were in the game, you have failed miserably. This is much more evident if the game you took only gives the player three ways to interact with things: Jumping over them in slow-motion, punching buttons/cabinets/doors, or shooting them in the face. How you managed to take this, on the surface rather simplistic premise, and ruin the otherwise actually surprisingly good story, is beyond me.
What was your intention, really? You take an archetypal anti-hero who shoots more or less everyone he sees, while wearing a smug grin and tossing around dark city noir poetry made up on the fly, and make sure he has virtually no discernible personality, who only starts killing people for real after he almost ODs on some superdrug? How is this in any way an improvement?

Marathons and The Force

Me and the Nightflyer have watched all six Star Wars movies during the past week or so, in the chronological order. I won't bore you with analyzes, I am sure you can all guess my feelings about the prequel trilogy. Right around the time we finished with that, I found Star Wars: The Clone Wars really cheap, and we decided that we might as well watch that too, while we were at it. Has anyone else seen this? I think The Editing Room had the right idea. I like how they have decided to show that this movie is CGI by making the CGI worse than in the actual movies, which is mostly CGI anyways.
Also, they really liked making stupid references to shit that made no sense, and turned the whole thing into a farce. Why take the model of a scary bounty hunter droid and turn it into a useless servant? Why are all the battledroids retards on purpose? Why does nothing make sense? Why can something with the 'feet' of an AT-AT climb sheer rock walls? Why does the whole movie feel like a video games, without all the good parts? And why the hell is it uglier than all the video games LucasArts have released for the past 7 years?

Meanwhile, I have also been playing Knights of the Old Republic, the best game ever released with anything related to Star Wars in it. Try it, you know you want to.