Warstriders and Spoilerfest

I'm not sure if there's anyone reading this blog who hasn't seen Transformers: Revenge of The 9-Year-Old, but if there are, then avert your eyes.

Let's get the good stuff out of the way first. The fight scene in the forest reminded me once again of why we really need to have a proper Warstriderbattle in Exalted, because "duh".

Now, for everything else. First of all, it seems Michael Bay found a magical well of youth, because he must be at least 35 years younger than he is supposed to be. The supposed jokes of the movie are not really of the kind aimed at nine-year-olds, as much as the kind thought up by nine-year-olds. Why do the Retard-Bots have huge ears and buck-teeth? In fact, why are there Retard-Bots? It is pretty clear we are supposed to hate these guys, everyone in the movie does. The only moments of their screen time that I liked was when one of them was shot, and the other eaten. Sadly, it didn't stick. At least Bumblebee beat them a bit.
Why does the huge And-I'll-Form-The-Head-Bot have balls? It was pretty clear they didn't have a purpose.
Why did they steal an antagonist from "Terminator 36: We Ran Out Of Cool Shit Ages Ago"? The Look-Like-A-Girl-Bot was useless, stupid, and broke the point of the Transformers.
Why did they try to fool people into thinking they were making a properly bad teen-movie out of it, just to ignore everything that happened during that part, except for the useless sidekick? Why did they bring the useless sidekick?
Why did the original Primes sacrifice themselves to make a prison, if said prison could be shot apart by a single blast from an, as far as I know, not very combat-focused Autobot?
And why the fucking hell can't Michael Bay think up a plausible goal for the antagonist? What the hell? I mean, Megatron still seemed to be in it for the energy, to revive their planet, but the Fallen mostly seemed to like demolishing suns. Meh.
I had more things to add, and I might remember them later.
As a final note: Fuck You Translator. Fuck You.

Marathons and The Force

Me and the Nightflyer have watched all six Star Wars movies during the past week or so, in the chronological order. I won't bore you with analyzes, I am sure you can all guess my feelings about the prequel trilogy. Right around the time we finished with that, I found Star Wars: The Clone Wars really cheap, and we decided that we might as well watch that too, while we were at it. Has anyone else seen this? I think The Editing Room had the right idea. I like how they have decided to show that this movie is CGI by making the CGI worse than in the actual movies, which is mostly CGI anyways.
Also, they really liked making stupid references to shit that made no sense, and turned the whole thing into a farce. Why take the model of a scary bounty hunter droid and turn it into a useless servant? Why are all the battledroids retards on purpose? Why does nothing make sense? Why can something with the 'feet' of an AT-AT climb sheer rock walls? Why does the whole movie feel like a video games, without all the good parts? And why the hell is it uglier than all the video games LucasArts have released for the past 7 years?

Meanwhile, I have also been playing Knights of the Old Republic, the best game ever released with anything related to Star Wars in it. Try it, you know you want to.