Star Wars Holiday Special and DEATH!

GAAH! FUCK! EVERYONE MUST DIE! JUST DIE! MAKE IT STOP! SHOOT EVERYTHING!

Shakespeare and Nonsense

Today we were at the Globe Theater and Tate Modern. The Globe Theater is a rather acurate replica of the theater Shakespeare owned and operated in, and it is very impressive. When I say owned, I actually mean "stole", which is one of the coolest things one can do with a building of that size. Very interesting place with a very interesting guided tour. We learned about how the plays were set up and a lot about why the theater looks the way it does.
We also learned about interesting things that the people in the area did to amuse themselves when they weren't at the theater, and I feel I must tell you about some of these things.
The first one consisted of chaining a bear to a pole, setting some dogs on it, and then betting on how quickly the bear would kill the dogs.
Another was to tie a monkey to the back of a horse, and having dogs chase it in a circle, scaring the monkey and making it scream. This was considered hilarious, because apparently monkeys sound like women when they scream.
When the people of the day would get bored of messing with animals, they decided to pick on the poor people instead. So they made what was essentially a big piñata full of fruit, hung it up over some open bit of land, and then threw firecrackers at it until it broke. Poor people where then allowed to go and pick up the fruit. While the richer people threw firecrackers at them. Great fun.
People say that the internet has desensitized us. I don't think that's the case. We desensitized us.

After the Globe, we went to the Tate modern.
The Tate Modern is a gallery of modern art.
I really, really, Really hate modern art.
I could see the point of literaly no things in the entire building.
From what I can understand, modern art relies very heavily on the viewer to see what isn't there, to see beyond the obvious and see the artist's intent. This makes no sense to me either.
What I hate most about modern art isn't the art, it's the community. The fact that, whenever someone does not understand modern art, that person is uneducated or unsophisticated. The idea that they keep trying to justify their creations with artistic sentences.
"Blah blah blah after commiting random acts of violence to random objects the artist reveals a hidden meaning of the objects"
No. You ran over a trombone with a steamroller. Good for you. There is no "hidden meaning" in a trombone that only comes out when you run it over with a steamroller. It is a trombone. An instrument. It was designed to make a certain kind of noise, not to have hidden meanings in it to be steamrolled out.
And I don't care how fancy words you use, you simply cannot justify a video of a naked man in a monkey/mongoloid-mask spasming around and smearing red paint all over himself as art. It is not art, it is bad YouTube.
Modern art simply makes no sense to me, and whenever I actually try to "see beyond the obvious", rather than just be amazed at the stupidity of it all, it makes my head hurt.
Summary: The Tate Modern was the most depressing building I have ever been in. I could have appreciated it a bit more if I had been able to just talk about how amazingly stupid it all is, but whenever anyone said anything about a painting one got angry looks from people around, people who undoubtebly thought they were better than me because they could understand why an empty canvas with a knifewound in it, or some very large circles of runny red paint on a white wall, is art.
Well, if that's the meassure of intelectuality, I'll settle to be a retard, thank you very much.

Warstriders and Spoilerfest

I'm not sure if there's anyone reading this blog who hasn't seen Transformers: Revenge of The 9-Year-Old, but if there are, then avert your eyes.

Let's get the good stuff out of the way first. The fight scene in the forest reminded me once again of why we really need to have a proper Warstriderbattle in Exalted, because "duh".

Now, for everything else. First of all, it seems Michael Bay found a magical well of youth, because he must be at least 35 years younger than he is supposed to be. The supposed jokes of the movie are not really of the kind aimed at nine-year-olds, as much as the kind thought up by nine-year-olds. Why do the Retard-Bots have huge ears and buck-teeth? In fact, why are there Retard-Bots? It is pretty clear we are supposed to hate these guys, everyone in the movie does. The only moments of their screen time that I liked was when one of them was shot, and the other eaten. Sadly, it didn't stick. At least Bumblebee beat them a bit.
Why does the huge And-I'll-Form-The-Head-Bot have balls? It was pretty clear they didn't have a purpose.
Why did they steal an antagonist from "Terminator 36: We Ran Out Of Cool Shit Ages Ago"? The Look-Like-A-Girl-Bot was useless, stupid, and broke the point of the Transformers.
Why did they try to fool people into thinking they were making a properly bad teen-movie out of it, just to ignore everything that happened during that part, except for the useless sidekick? Why did they bring the useless sidekick?
Why did the original Primes sacrifice themselves to make a prison, if said prison could be shot apart by a single blast from an, as far as I know, not very combat-focused Autobot?
And why the fucking hell can't Michael Bay think up a plausible goal for the antagonist? What the hell? I mean, Megatron still seemed to be in it for the energy, to revive their planet, but the Fallen mostly seemed to like demolishing suns. Meh.
I had more things to add, and I might remember them later.
As a final note: Fuck You Translator. Fuck You.