Me and the Nightflyer watched The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor last night. It was a pretty funny movie, but no masterpiece. I did realize something, though, that hadn't struck me before. Not to spoil too much of the movie, but there are Yetis in it. What I hadn't realized before was that Yetis are basically just men who transcended the boundaries of manliness and emerged with more muscle than Arnold and manly enough to not only ignore ice and snow, but also manly enough to grow full-body beards.
Awesome.
Showing posts with label beard. Show all posts
Showing posts with label beard. Show all posts
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Wyatt Earp and Tombstone.
I watched Wyatt Earp last night, and it feels natural to compare it to Tombstone, seeing as how they both tell parts of the same story. On the first glance, Tombstone seems like the better movie. It's got Sam Elliot as Virgil and some rather proper mustaches in it. It's also in most areas the most aesthetically pleasing of the pair, being slightly less gritty, and having given the story a 'shave', if you'll excuse the pun.
Kurt Russel also does the, in my eyes, cooler interpretation of Wyatt Earp himself. While having less personality, on account of less backstory, he still somehow looks better. This might be because most of the lines in Wyatt Earp were boring and less aesthetic. Also, adversaries in Tombstone have actual personalities. Well, not all of them, since they come by the bucketload, but at least there's Curly Bill Brocius, Johnny Ringo and Ike Clanton. They are all in Wyatt Earp, but they have no memorable lines whatsoever, and since they are all so grubby and shabby, I found it hard to tell one from the other. Wyatt Earp does have Jayne, though, which is a merit. Or, well, it's got Adam Baldwin playing a cowboy, which is pretty much as close to Jayne as you can get.
Now, on to the most important aspect of both films, as well as the comparison.
I'm not sure why, it might be historical accuracy or it might be that both directors harbor secret homosexual crushes, but it seems somehow impossible to make a movie about Wyatt Earp without having John Henry 'Doc' Holliday show up and immediately steal the show.
In Wyatt Earp, Dennis Quaid (How the hell is that pronounced?) plays the part. I have been completely unable to find a proper picture of the guy in that role, which is strange, since he looks Fucking Awesome.
This one will have to do, with Holliday on the right (And Costner looking like an uncharismatic sack of potatoes with a mustache). Great beard/stache-combo. This Holliday is sightly more serious than the other, both looking and sounding more dangerous.
In Tombstone, the role is played by Val Kilmer. You know, the dude that sucked as Batman. He. Is. Awesome. While looking less awesome than Quaid, the Holliday he shows us is by far the greatest. Less serious, more fun.
Both Hollidays have a few memorable lines, and it's rather hard to pick a favorite in that department. Kilmer's Holliday is a tad biased towards one-liners.
Doc Quaid:
"Dave Rutabaugh is an ignorant scoundrel! I disapprove of his very existence. I considered ending it myself on several occasions but self-control got the better of me."
Doc Kilmer:
"Look, darling, it's Johnny Ringo. The deadliest pistoleer since Wild Bill, they say. What do you think, darling? Should I hate him? There's just something about him. Something around the eyes, I don't know, reminds me of... me. No. I'm sure of it, I hate him."
Well, all in all, I'd say Tombstone is the best of the two. There is little to praise in Wyatt Earp apart from Doc Quaid, but he is overshadowed by Doc Kilmer anyway, so it's somewhat of a moot point.
Kurt Russel also does the, in my eyes, cooler interpretation of Wyatt Earp himself. While having less personality, on account of less backstory, he still somehow looks better. This might be because most of the lines in Wyatt Earp were boring and less aesthetic. Also, adversaries in Tombstone have actual personalities. Well, not all of them, since they come by the bucketload, but at least there's Curly Bill Brocius, Johnny Ringo and Ike Clanton. They are all in Wyatt Earp, but they have no memorable lines whatsoever, and since they are all so grubby and shabby, I found it hard to tell one from the other. Wyatt Earp does have Jayne, though, which is a merit. Or, well, it's got Adam Baldwin playing a cowboy, which is pretty much as close to Jayne as you can get.
Now, on to the most important aspect of both films, as well as the comparison.
I'm not sure why, it might be historical accuracy or it might be that both directors harbor secret homosexual crushes, but it seems somehow impossible to make a movie about Wyatt Earp without having John Henry 'Doc' Holliday show up and immediately steal the show.
In Wyatt Earp, Dennis Quaid (How the hell is that pronounced?) plays the part. I have been completely unable to find a proper picture of the guy in that role, which is strange, since he looks Fucking Awesome.
This one will have to do, with Holliday on the right (And Costner looking like an uncharismatic sack of potatoes with a mustache). Great beard/stache-combo. This Holliday is sightly more serious than the other, both looking and sounding more dangerous.
In Tombstone, the role is played by Val Kilmer. You know, the dude that sucked as Batman. He. Is. Awesome. While looking less awesome than Quaid, the Holliday he shows us is by far the greatest. Less serious, more fun.
Both Hollidays have a few memorable lines, and it's rather hard to pick a favorite in that department. Kilmer's Holliday is a tad biased towards one-liners.
Doc Quaid:
"Dave Rutabaugh is an ignorant scoundrel! I disapprove of his very existence. I considered ending it myself on several occasions but self-control got the better of me."
Doc Kilmer:
"Look, darling, it's Johnny Ringo. The deadliest pistoleer since Wild Bill, they say. What do you think, darling? Should I hate him? There's just something about him. Something around the eyes, I don't know, reminds me of... me. No. I'm sure of it, I hate him."
Well, all in all, I'd say Tombstone is the best of the two. There is little to praise in Wyatt Earp apart from Doc Quaid, but he is overshadowed by Doc Kilmer anyway, so it's somewhat of a moot point.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
On movies. And beards.
I'm going to write a bit about movies, because I'm bored and I don't have anyone to rant at.
I watched Get Rich or Die Tryin' yesterday, because a friend told me it was pretty good a while back.
This is not a phrase I use regularly, but Jesus Fucking Christ did it suck!
I was expecting something similar to 8 Mile, a movie that I actually liked, but damn. Throughout the entire movie, I was waiting for him to learn to sing properly, or at least write proper lyrics, but no. The lyrics are just as horrible when he's 12 as when he's grown up. And that's just one of the problems. I checked on IMDB, and, apparently, it's worth 3.5 stars. I really can't see why, there are just no good things about this movie. At all.
Moving on:
SAW IV.
I want it. Gief.
I watched Kiss of Death the other day. Cage is, as always, badass and awesome. Only this time he's got a beard as well. It also had Samuel L. Motherfucking Jackson, and the main character's last name is "Kilmartin". I rest my case.
8MM was good, Cage again. Less badass, less beard, more morality. Better movie, all in all. Peter Stormare had a beard this time. It's all good.
Saw Casino the other day as well, haven't seen that one since I was 11 or so. Robert De Niro and Joe Pesci, both awesome. No good beards, though.
I've suddenly decided to stop boring people with whatever movies I've seen recently.
I should go buy stamps, but that's about as fun as listening to 50 cent, only it takes longer. And the weather is boring. Bah. I updated the Video of the Now, but apparently it lags a bit. Nevermind, the song is still good.
And that, my friends, is the end of the news.
EDIT: Ok, never mind that I decided to stop boring people, I have Got to post this. This is Important. It is also rather spoiler-heavy, not that anyone should care.
I have just seen the hands down Manliest movie have ever seen. Possibly the manliest movie in all of human history. The title is manly: Shoot 'Em Up. The main plot is about guns. It has awesome one-liners. The main character doesn't even have a real name, he just calls himself Smith. He kills people with carrots. He shoots people. He shoots people, using carrots. He even shoots a guy five times, without even using a gun. He keeps telling everyone what he really hates. He crashes cars, he beats people up, he jumps from bridges and airplanes, he creates makeshift traps of death, and he delivers a baby while shooting people, and telling the mother that he hates guys in ponytails.
I am in awe. I didn't realize it was possible to create something this manly.
Go see it. Right now. No, you don't have a valid excuse, just go.
I watched Get Rich or Die Tryin' yesterday, because a friend told me it was pretty good a while back.
This is not a phrase I use regularly, but Jesus Fucking Christ did it suck!
I was expecting something similar to 8 Mile, a movie that I actually liked, but damn. Throughout the entire movie, I was waiting for him to learn to sing properly, or at least write proper lyrics, but no. The lyrics are just as horrible when he's 12 as when he's grown up. And that's just one of the problems. I checked on IMDB, and, apparently, it's worth 3.5 stars. I really can't see why, there are just no good things about this movie. At all.
Moving on:
SAW IV.
I want it. Gief.
I watched Kiss of Death the other day. Cage is, as always, badass and awesome. Only this time he's got a beard as well. It also had Samuel L. Motherfucking Jackson, and the main character's last name is "Kilmartin". I rest my case.
8MM was good, Cage again. Less badass, less beard, more morality. Better movie, all in all. Peter Stormare had a beard this time. It's all good.
Saw Casino the other day as well, haven't seen that one since I was 11 or so. Robert De Niro and Joe Pesci, both awesome. No good beards, though.
I've suddenly decided to stop boring people with whatever movies I've seen recently.
I should go buy stamps, but that's about as fun as listening to 50 cent, only it takes longer. And the weather is boring. Bah. I updated the Video of the Now, but apparently it lags a bit. Nevermind, the song is still good.
And that, my friends, is the end of the news.
EDIT: Ok, never mind that I decided to stop boring people, I have Got to post this. This is Important. It is also rather spoiler-heavy, not that anyone should care.
I have just seen the hands down Manliest movie have ever seen. Possibly the manliest movie in all of human history. The title is manly: Shoot 'Em Up. The main plot is about guns. It has awesome one-liners. The main character doesn't even have a real name, he just calls himself Smith. He kills people with carrots. He shoots people. He shoots people, using carrots. He even shoots a guy five times, without even using a gun. He keeps telling everyone what he really hates. He crashes cars, he beats people up, he jumps from bridges and airplanes, he creates makeshift traps of death, and he delivers a baby while shooting people, and telling the mother that he hates guys in ponytails.
I am in awe. I didn't realize it was possible to create something this manly.
Go see it. Right now. No, you don't have a valid excuse, just go.
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